There's hope for men...

This cartoon isn't meant unfriendly to men..it is meant as a witticism to some eastern buddhist traditions that say that women can't get enlightened and that the highest goal for them is that they will be reïncarnated as a man. 

Also published in the buddhist internet paper:  http://boeddhistischdagblad.nl/41054-marja/#comment-48556

It"ll be there in a minute

Wise

The second day

The second day of a dai- sesshin (7-day zenretreat) is of ill repute. Most of the people suffer from bad thoughts and feelings. 

That can be really stormy. Like the weather now, today, with the wind outside. Sometimes there is anger, sometimes doubt. Thoughts like: "What sense does this make? " Me myself, I don't suffer from that at the moment. I just sit a few  sittings a day and the rest of the time I'm working in the kitchen. But I remember of other sesshins that doubt could play a big role in the second day. Not the big doubt. But the small one. 

For me, it had to do with the idea that it must make sense. That there was 'a somewhere' where I had to go to. This is such a big conditioning. And besides that, it's very frustrating. Because it witholds you from pure experiencing. 

That holiday on the beach

First day of this seven day retreat. It was soooo quiet this morning, in the early morning...

There wasn't even a sound of a bird. 

People are so beautiful when they are sitting still. They all look like buddha's. 

 Of course, I do know that everybody will have his or her thoughts. But that doesn't matter. Thoughts come and go. 

Like a thought about a nice holiday on the beach. Or me, thinking about the meal I'm going to cook. 

In the first day of such a retreat it is difficult not to cling to your thoughts. Not to make more thougts about it. 

But you musn't be that severe to yourself. Not severe, but also not too gentle..

Nico Tydeman, a dutch zenmaster says: don't cling, but live..in other words: 

If you are too attached to your thoughts, you live in the future or in the past.

With bare hands

Tonight starts a seven-day retreat at the Zencenter  de Noorder Poort, where I work as a cook and do my zentraining. Most of the time, everybody enters (including me) with our heads full.

And with a strong idea of 'I'.  Suitcases full with ideas and confirmations. 

It would be beautiful when we just leave our suitcases outside. And that we entered with bare hands. 

 

Karma

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Doing difficult

Valentine's day

Friday the thirteenth

Fluffy and I...

Remember the time...

When I was a child, I often went to France with my parents, for holidays. I do remember very well the small villages with their plazas. There were old men playing 'jeu de boule'. They wore trousers with braces. And on the edge of those plazas were women sitting and waffling.

As a child I liked that very much. As an adult I look back to that with much pleasure. 

Is it maybe too romantic to think that it is much nicer to grow old in such a way.  Than in the huge nursing homes where nowadays (in Holland) old people spend their last days? 

Maybe it is too romantic or too naïeve to long for those time in the past. 

Time has been changed definitely. There are more old people nowadays. And  because people are reaching a greater age, they also suffer more ailments.  

But I really don't know if I approve of this. When I could choose, I'd prefer to live shorter like in the former times. Waffling on a bench at the edge of a plaza. Talking about the old days.....Like the time that we went to that yoga class.. And burst into laughter. Or playing 'jeu de boule'. 

I'd prefer that than being tucked away in a huge nursing home, where I don't know anybody.

But well, shall I have a choice when I am that old? And do the elderly people nowadays have a choice? 

Job interview

Insight on the bathroom

"A true woman/man, without name, age, or rank, goes freely in and out through the gates of the senses". 

This is a koan with which I often meditated. A beautiful koan. Because it says much about the things we link our identity with. 

This koan tells us something about who we are. Or about what we are not. 

Normally we say:  I am a woman, or a businessman, a yoga-teacher or an artist. Doesn't matter what you are, but as long as you are stuck with that, You can't pass freelly through the gates of the senses. 

It is as if you are trying to pass a small gate with lots of luggage on your back and in your hands. You try to push yourself through it. Pushing and pushing, getting even irritated because you don't succeed. 

When I am in the bathroom, I often feel  free from all the labels that I put on myself normally. And from which I think that it composes my identity.

It is a perfect place for me to sit in my 'own nakedness' so to say. Because it enables  to realize that all the things from which I think that they are mine, are actually just labels.

When I die, I also lose my labels. Often when people are very sick, and nearly escaped from death, they value the things like a job, big salary, house, a rank, not so much anymore. Other things become more important. 

So actually we know very well what are the important things. 

And we know also that they can even become in the way, when you truly want to know who you are. And when you truly want to pass through the gates of the senses. 

We don't exist

Super cool

Eating mindfully

In this very moment